Why DadCafe?

Why DadCafe?

As mentioned earlier, fatherhood for me is set to start in September 2002. I have to admit that the pregnancy itself was a huge shock to us both and although I wasn't sure how I felt, my wife seemed so distraught when the little blue line appeared that I felt I had to be positive and cheer her up. Behind the smile, though, all I could think about was how we could afford it, whether we could cope and what I was actually supposed to do now. Being a pragmatic guy, I researched the price of Scalextric in the Argos catalogue and gradually came to the decision that having a new member of the family could be fun - someone to brainwash with cars, music, sport, etc...

Since that day, I've noticed that some people think I'm unusual being so openly enthusuastic about having a baby. This is strange, as I'd thought it was the norm with so much emphasis on fathers to play an active role. Not so, it seems. Despite the odd article encouraging dads to do their bit, nearly every photo in the main pregnancy and baby magazines shows a mother with her child - not a father. The articles are all written from a woman's point of view with the exception of the back page which is generally the only place where men get their say. Even the biggest baby goods shop in the UK has "mother" in the name but I continue to believe that dads should be an equal parent. I admit that I will never understand the unique bond that a mother has with her baby but even so, I'd like to think that the bond with the father can also be something special. My experience of baby shops, magazines and parenting classes has left me feeling slightly excluded even before the birth so I thought this website would be a good place to start addressing the problem. Your comments are always welcome and you can leave comments at the end of every article. On a more practical note, you will hopefully find the reviews and ideas here useful for the everyday upbringing of your little one.

Comments (now closed)

Thankyou a web site for dads to be, something that i can relate to. My wife has books, magazines etc, what does poor old dad get not a lot really, just the odd artical in a magazine... We have just had the twenty week scan, what a fantastic sight seeing the heart, beating arms and legs moving, well must keep going on with the nursey, only 4 months to go and its a slow progress, why rush perfection?
Phil2 July 2004

I suppose the realisation that you are going to be a Dad finally hits you when your child is born, up until that moment I convinced myself that all would be the same. (Sounds obvious, but true). The 40 weeks seem to drag for ever and then suddenly you are in the hospital. It has changed me forever and nothing has made me feel more like a man than holding my new born child. Life hasn't been the same since.........
Martin21 June 2004

When does the nervous "Oh god I'am going to be a Dad" thing wear off? First scan? When her water breaks? Delivery room? Fighting for a look with doting mother in law? I'm bearly out of my 20's and can still smell my student dorm room on some of my clothes, this isn't supposed to happen until I'm about 50 is it? As an 'already father' friend said to me recently, at least you'll have finsihed the school run by the time you are 50!! Cheers Alan. Thanks Radio 2 for putting me onto this site...
Dan Dan terrified man.......17 June 2004